UWC study says women in abusive relationships are often trapped by a combination of emotional attachment, financial dependence, and fear. Illustration: Adobe Stock

Why doesn't she just leave? It is a question often asked when women remain in abusive relationships. According to new research by the University of the Western Cape (UWC), this is a flawed question because it assumes women are free to leave, and it overlooks the structural barriers they face.

The study by UWC's Centre for Interdisciplinary Studies of Children, Family and Society (CISCFS) found that leaving is rarely a simple choice. Many women are trapped by a combination of emotional attachment, financial dependence, fear, social expectations and institutions that fail to protect them. Together, these forces create what researchers call a "distorted process of care" - where relationships that should provide love, protection and support instead become sources of control, danger and entrapment.

Rather than reflecting weakness or passivity, remaining in an abusive relationship often represents the result of navigating overwhelming barriers in circumstances where safe alternatives are limited.

The study, published in the Social Sciences journal, drew on the experiences of 262 mothers, grandmothers, adolescents and practitioners from four South African communities in Cape Town, Saldanha Bay, Fisantekraal and a university student cohort. Although participants came from different backgrounds, they consistently described similar experiences, giving researchers confidence that the findings reflect recurring patterns rather than isolated cases.

Prof Nicolette Roman. Image: Ruvan Boshoff

Led by Prof Nicolette Roman from the Centre for Interdisciplinary Studies of Children, Family and Society (CISCFS), the researchers identified five interconnected themes that make up the Distorted Process of Care framework. The study was co-authored by Dr Chante Johannes, a lecturer in the Department of Sport, Recreation and Exercise Science in the Faculty of Community and Health Sciences, and Shenaaz Wareley, a PhD candidate at CISCFS.

The first theme, “distorted care”, describes how relationships that begin with love gradually become controlling and abusive. Participants said emotional attachment often blinded them to early warning signs, with jealousy and controlling behaviour mistaken for proof of love. Threats, rigid gender roles, violence passed down through families, and alcohol or drug abuse further transformed caring relationships into abusive ones.

This progresses into “care under constraint”, when women remain in abusive relationships because they are trying to survive. Many depend on abusive partners for food, housing and financial support while putting their children's needs ahead of their own. Leaving often means losing the family's only source of income, forcing women to choose between escaping violence and ensuring their children have food and shelter.

Over time, many women enter “silence of care”. Fear of being judged, shame and repeated disappointments leave them isolated and emotionally withdrawn. Many stop seeking help because they no longer believe anyone will support them.

Despite these barriers, some women eventually begin “reclaiming care” by choosing their own safety, drawing strength from faith and working to prevent their children from repeating the same cycle of violence.

Throughout this journey, however, “structural failure” continues to undermine them. Families, communities and institutions, including the police, social services and government departments, often fail to provide the support and protection women need to leave safely.

Many participants described fearing for their lives. Women who tried to leave abusive partners reported being followed, assaulted or fearing being murdered. In these circumstances, leaving was often viewed as more dangerous than staying.

Traditional gender roles reinforced the cycle, with women carrying most childcare and household responsibilities while abusive partners remained largely uninvolved. Children growing up in violent homes also increased the likelihood that abuse would continue across generations, while alcohol and substance abuse intensified violence and fear within households.

The researchers also found that crime, gangsterism and poverty further limited women's ability to seek help. Families were often unable to offer support because they were struggling themselves, while government institutions frequently retraumatised women instead of protecting them.

The researchers conclude that these five themes do not operate in isolation. Instead, emotional, financial, social and institutional factors reinforce one another, creating a cycle that makes leaving increasingly difficult.

"For policy, the implications of this framework are uncomfortable but necessary," the researchers noted. 

"GBV cannot be addressed through individualised, crisis-response models alone. Interventions that focus solely on the individual, such as counselling, shelters and legal protection, without addressing the material and institutional conditions that make remaining in abusive situations appear rational, are likely to remain insufficient," they said.